BEFORE SUNRISE: Los sentimientos nunca mueren se albergan en el alma

Often I have put myself to think that the life and the happiness weren´t bought for anybody, that a day you can be completely happy with money, work, people, friendly, known surround that you´re making to feel that bonds and the unique thing that hope in the end of you it is to abuse your confidence and nobility for stolen, and also of false friendly, and other that in fact are not so friendly yours and are birds of prey in your life, for steal your energy, which many call Karma. The life is a roulette that pauses less in the indicated place and it leaves to you working against or no, and to that it is it one learning to differentiate with passing of the time. The exact past week, when it left the church, always praying by the person who more master in my life, aside from my two brothers, my unique family, because I have an angel that is my sister older than it died a year and six months ago, which I represent as the symbol more sacrificed by its form of life, because all the people surrounded that it while still alive did not abuse their kindness, was a compared twin soul with the person who I love her at the moment. Here I represent her standing spiritual in acts that I do by love of person that now master, and that I know that it lives is when I must TO SACRIFICE and to fight by her, because if one goes away to me like she was to me an ex- fiancee that I had, would undergo much the loss, which represented much in all that period that did not let to love to me with anybody during 6 years, by its memory. But of that not I want to speak, because already it was thing of the past that I could surpass just now, to the distance.

I mention, yes and I want to be very clear, love that one feels while it has life, breath, heat to give, energy to do happy, to live, to jump, to work, to run, to laugh and to cry, to cry much when BOND the pain to feel and to spill tears by people who really love themselves and who for reasons of the life same miserable materialist we must often spend hours of hours far from the loved beings, whereas the life goes away to us and we cannot get the righ balance administer our TIME with them to offer all the love who need and we to them to give. I know that the human being, reacts behind schedule, when account occurs we do not have time to repay a kiss or to embrace the father or to say to him watching to the eyes after two minutes your mother to him, the beautiful thing who is and to be thankful to him by it to have taken care of so much when one was small. The life goes away to us so fast, that I have been put to think at this point of my life, Because we are foolish in keeping resentment, hatreds and we let ourselves win by the pride, pride and the vanity. And we did not surrender to the simple fact to love and to pardon everyone to us, even of which they approach to us with badness disguised with friendly intentions of wolf. Returning to which mentioned, it was leaving the church, often that attended and it had given account me that every day in the evening was between the multitude of feligreses a old one of abundant gray hair, under stature, but it reflected a dulzura in its face in spite of its poverty, saw always it praying hard made kneel, inclining its gray head, only, always only to the same hour in the church, against the image of the Virgin Mary´s Helping. It came it observing for a long time from my seat within the church at Magdalena, and today exact one week ago, when happening through its side I smiled to him timidly and it responded the warm, kidness, pure smile to me and until innocent I perceived it, I felt a barren inexorable intern. What yes I know is I perceived that it in my heart, I could see all their suffering him lived in its glance of angel, in spite of its well-known wrinkles, and its dirty, hard, hands I perceived robust them like hands that once had caressed surprised children…. And I do not know because I cried, I cried watching it, and he only hit upon to watch to me and to smile to me. It was the gift more wonderful than I received from a ragged poor man, a old vagabond, the smile of an angel who slept in the streets without home, did not know it but he came back observing it many weeks ago, from the 3 of May. Today, I decided to give the alms him of the church, that almost never gave by questions of spiritual ethics, I gave it with joy, so that it at least had a menu or five breads in its stomach, thanking for itself to him to Jesus, to send its humble SMILE to me by means of that old one. Believe me that needed much, a friendly smile, a smile that could not find in anybody of which said to be near me, nor in my brothers even though that now master and I want much to them, to the two unique sisters that I have while still alive. It needed that smile that was the same that saw reflected in those two pretty beautiful eyes of the person who I love her with all my life. The same smile of her when it sang the song to me of Michael Jackson; " The lady in my life". The same smile that left my face, when a first ex- fiancee passed away who she represented here in image, and the same feeling of culpability which I felt of impotence when the smile became to me to gone, when dying my older sister of diabetes makes a year and a half…. And, walking only, now crestfallen by the cooldnest streets, humid of Magdalena, Lima. Fodder in all the friendly that I lost, and the few that I physically have distant because they live in the United States and Europe and I put myself sad.

The smile becomes to me to go so, when having near the parents of the person who more master, I cannot go to embrace them, to love them, to give a rat them of my spirit, to make feel well them with my affection, to say to them that they have the most beautiful daughter, the most beautiful woman, the most sacrificed daughter, than it fights for being somebody in this material, coarse and inhospitable world. That they have a daughter who takes the same feeling that my mother taught to me when small: feelings, touching and super sensible with the surroundings not only with the energy of the humans but with the same nature, something that I learned when she was to the North end of Sweden. And now, remembering to the old one seated in the Church, praying with his hidden head between his hands, inclined, submissive by the faith, she had the moment almost always when coming out, to delay me when walking, so that she sees me and she gives that smile to me that as much esteem and gives life me, gives force me to fight for morning, because tomorrow I want to be happy TO GIVE BACK to the person who as much master, the same smile, because I must to her, I must the life to her by everything nowadays what she has given in two years six months me. Thanks Catherine, I love you still through the distance.

Una Oda de mi amigo Jaime, que se la dedico al amor de mi vida que aparece en este video, PARA TI MI ETERNA AMADA, forever:

Oda a Dennis Hooper
Austro y noche delirante
recuerdan tu indómito
espíritu libre
que impugnó al soberbio
judío, amo del mundo
del cinema yanqui.
Del eterno efebo
sensual y salvaje,
cómplice dilecto.
Y fue el mismo efebo
quien te enseñó el arte
sutil de esconder
la navaja junto
al gesto imprevisto.
Oh Dennis, tus dedos
estrujan el agua
cual níveos muslos
de sílfides añorada.
Oh Dennis, tus dedos
acarician el viento
cual poeta místico
de ínsulas extrañas.
Tenaz alquimista,
tu espíritu indómito
ya libre navega
por aguas oscuras
de un mítico río.
"Márlet Ríos"